Lessons Learned VC - Still being edited

Where should I start? In life we make mistakes. Some good. Some bad. Some out of sheer stupidity. I have made all of the above and hurt my family and the love of my life in the process. Life has a funny and a cruel way of teaching us. In my case, it has thought me that it's NOT about me, it is about my spouse and children. When I was younger. I was a fiance to the most amazing and beautiful woman to ever walk this earth. I would have done anything for her and her beautiful eyes. I was/am a father to the two most adorable, intelligent and happy as can be children. Notice that I said was a fiance. That was intentional. I was with her for about 6 years before we split up. I was not a great spouse and I took my fiance for granted. I thought that I was doing everything right but it turns out that I was doing everything wrong, doing what I wanted and having her do as I wanted with little to no thought on what she wanted. I ignored her and played my videogames as soon as I got home till I fell asleep. Wake up, go to work and so forth and so on. Work would stress me out. I would get upset with her over stuff that I did wrong or when things were not going the way I wanted them to. I should have gotten my butt kicked. If I could I would travel back in time and kick my own butt and have me listen to what I know now so I won't make the same mistakes that I once did. Yes, I cheated on her and it was the worst thing that I could have ever done. I hated myself for that. I could have kept it to myself and not told her about it but I wanted to come clean and tell her. Till this day I hate myself for doing that. I hate myself for who I used to be.

Where did it all go wrong? Why did I have to do those things? I can't place blame on anyone but myself and learn from my mistakes.

At the beginning we were two people madly in love with each other. We were THE couple, LnV, always together, happy, enjoying every moment of life. We were amazing together and I could not stay away from her for more than a day. I was madly in love with her (I still am). I can still picture her walking down that school hallway with her green pants, black shirt, silver necklace with dozens of metal balls, her black backpack, hair combed back into a fluffy ponytail (which I loved to mess with) and her glasses with her weird walk. I love her little quirks. Like her weird walk, the way she stands (she has this foot that points in wards), and she has a little dent on her forehead that I liked to kiss when she would be asleep. There's other quirks that she has but those are my favorite.

My favorite gift of hers to me was a pen that had my name engraved in it. It was the most amazing gift that I could have ever gotten... well aside from my children and her. They are the best gift that she and God has given me but I'm talking about material gifts. Yes, she gave me other gifts like a playstation and a TV but this pen, when she gave it to me it said it all. How much she knew me, loved me and cared about me. This one little item made me fall for her all over again. I can still remember that grey silver pen with the engraving "LORD DEATH" etched in old English letters. I can't remember what I had bought her that made her world shine. I guess one day you'll have to ask her as I'll have to ask her as well.

I have a lot of great memories with her that I keep dear to my heart. Memories that I would rather tell her about one day.

The ring that I proposed to her was a little silver ring with red diamond in the middle from Sears. She loves the color red so much that I had to get her a ring with a ruby in it. It wasn't much in price but I wanted to buy her a better one from an actual jewelry store, one that screamed "she said yes" but I within myself I felt like a let down because I could not afford a real ring. She didn't care because it was a ring and she loved it either way because I proposed to her and it was her ring, her very own ring. One of the happiest days of my life was proposing to her. I can still remember that day.. well that morning actually. I won't go into full detail but I proposed to her in our room, let's leave it at that.

I'm getting off topic here like I always do. I start talking about one thing and go on to something else. I'm like a tree, I branch off... Yes, that was a dad joke. What can I say? I'm a dad.

The point of my story is to explain not take your spouse for granted because one day they will not be there anymore. You'll have all these wonderful memories but she'll be gone. If things are not going right at home don't go to others but go to your spouse. Take a seat on the table and have a heart to heart talk with them and let them know what is bothering you. Listen to your spouse. Ask her how she is doing. If things are going bad, talk it out and ask each other how can y'all can fix it and make things right? I wish I would have known this all those years ago and used it...

For me, it was work. I was stressed out at work that I brought that stress home and I just wanted to have fun playing videogames to release that stress.

So sit down with your wife and talk with each other, come up with solutions to your and their problems and JUST talk to one another. Marriage is a sacred bond that must not be broken.

My name is Valentin... Not Valentine, I dropped that nickname and need be to true to myself and be proud of my name. I am Valentin, father of two adorable children and a child that I consider my own, my son and daughters brother in Pasadena, tx.

Welcome to my life.

I'll leave y'all with something to think about and soak in:

A castle is only as strong as it's Queen and King. A King is there to protect his Queen and children, provide financial stability, make sure that everyone is healthy (mentally, physically, and emotionally), support your Queen and children and have a roof over their heads that they can all be proud of and happy to live in. Most importantly a King is there to make sure that his Queen is happy, loved and not feel alone. Always be there for your Queen/wife and she'll always be there for you.

Ladies, gentlemen...

Here is a few fun facts about me.

• It was always LnV to me because in my mind our initials (from what we called ourselves) was similar to the spelling of LOVE.

• Before arriving to work (back in the day when I first started working) I would think of her before I went in.

• I pictured us having a house to ourselves with the kids away from our families.

• I got a tattoo dedicated to her. It's unfinished but it's there till I add the last bit for it to complete.

• I still have all the letters that we wrote each other in highschool.

• There is another tattoo that I wanted to get that combined our first letters of our names and ended up as a heart.... Oh yeah I can draw.

• I want to get two other tattoos one that describes my son and his name and another that describes my daughter.

Love, trust and communication is the key and foundation to a great marriage.

Stand up for one another when they are around or not.

I love you ER. Always will. With what I know now, if I could do it all over again, I'll do it all over again but not make the same mistakes that I have made and actually communicate with one another and I would listen with my tiny little ears.

Yet, I still know what she loves till this day.